i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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