i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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