dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
