After last night, I could never be a politician.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
