I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
