I am in a vortex of obligation.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
