.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So much rum. So many feels.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
