And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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