Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
