So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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