no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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