you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
