We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
