please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Two words: nipple clamps
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