I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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