I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
thus making me awesome and them whores
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
