Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
