well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
