I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
