The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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