Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
