KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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