so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize