"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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