i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want to make out with him forever
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
