just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
