Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
