brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
