Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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