I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
