My liver just broke up with me...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize