Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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