their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
