I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
