susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
