Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
