And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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