sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
