I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
