i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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