apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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