After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
