Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize