so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
