cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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