Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
