i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize