tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
