I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
