dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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