I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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