Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
