she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
