I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
