A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
