why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
