she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
