Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
