hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
