god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
