Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
