Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
