I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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